Didn't Realize Turning 40 Would Be This Stressful

It is hard to believe that I've finally turned 40.  Growing up I thought many long awaited milestones would never come: like turning 16 and getting my license, heading to college, getting a dream job (that never came until I became a mother!), marrying the man of my dreams and starting a family. Turning 40 has never been one of my long awaited milestones but it also hasn't been a dreaded event until now.  God has always been so good and faithful through the good times and the stormy times and there is no reason to expect anything differently in 2009!

We thought that 2008 was busy and "exciting" with my successful hip replacement surgery and having my thyroid radiated to reverse the affects of my Graves Disease.  Both of these health issues have been more of an annoyance than a serious concern.  As I have turned 40 we face another year of more "excitement" but with a little more seriousness and urgency.

In early February I discovered what I thought might be a lump in my breast and in mid February I went to have it checked out.  At the time the doctor thought it might be connective tissue but along with the already scheduled mammogram he ordered a diagnostic ultrasound.  The mammogram and ultrasound showed the lump to be suspicious so I had a needle biopsy on Wednesday, 3/11/09.  On Friday, 3/13/09 I received a call from my doctor with the results and the dreaded news that the lump is malignant.  This was obviously our worst fear and the worst day in my opinion to receive the news; it was Dan’s 40^th birthday.  It will definitely be a birthday to remember!  We are resting in the Lord knowing that His timing is perfect and His strength and grace is sufficient for today and the days ahead.  Our complete trust is in Him!

This past Monday, 3/16/09, we met with the surgeon for the first time and we were really impressed with him, especially his willingness to answer to questions.  After our meeting with him we weren't even out the door and he was already on the phone trying to gather some answers to a few questions that we had.  It was a relief to receive a little more information so we aren't completely in the dark on the diagnosis and future treatment.  The surgeon referred to the tumor as small and that I have both invasive ductal carcinoma and ductal carcinoma in-situ which means the tumor developed in the milk duct and has now spread outside the duct.

Yesterday, Tuesday, 3/17/09, I had my MRI to determine if the cancer has spread anywhere else.  We were supposed to get the results in the afternoon by 4pm but the MRI hadn't been read yet (they are only read on Tuesdays and Fridays).  The surgeon called and stated that one of the people who reads the MRIs is a friend of his and he was going to ask him to read mine in the morning so we could get the results and start moving forward.  I received a call this morning (Wednesday) from the surgeon and the MRI showed that the cancer is only located where the tumor is and that the lymph nodes looked fine.  We are praising the Lord for a good report today, a good doctor and one with connections!  We are now waiting for my thyroid labs to come back so that we can determine how it is functioning before I can schedule surgery.

Even though this past weekend was a roller coaster of emotions for me as I was trying to get my mind around this diagnosis I thank the Lord for the blessings He brought my way.  The many prayers for our family from family, friends and people I have never met have been a source of encouragement and strength to us at this time.  God is gracious in the good and the bad times.  We will choose to rest in him and trust him for each new day!  Although we are not looking forward to this process and would never have chosen this illness we do look forward to what the Lord has in store for us in the future.  

Psalm 18:30

"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him." 

Psalm 9:1-2

“I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.  I will be filled with joy because of you. I will sing praises to your name, O Most High.”